Why straight women and gay men are often so close

Why straight women and gay men are often so close

A Case of the Holly Jolly Holiday Blues

No matter what you celebrate, holidays can be a source of stress. The shopping, the food, the parties, the presents, the traditions-- the sheer number of things to do. And beyond the demands on your schedule, there are also huge expectations that every little detail is perfect, that every holiday season is better than the last, and that despite other stressors in your life, you’ll be jolly and merry. We at GO Atlanta get it. 

We also get that holidays are tough for people for other reasons. Going home to a family who you’re not out to, or a family who isn't accepting, is really, really hard. It’s also natural to think about friends and loved ones who are no longer with us during the holidays. We feel for you, and you should know that you’re not alone.

This blog post is dedicated to everyone who has a hard time around the holidays. Courtesy of Mayo Clinic, here are some tips for staying happy and healthy this season:

• Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
• Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
• Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones.
• Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
• Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
• Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
• Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
• Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity. And of course, practice safer sex if you meet someone under the mistletoe.
• Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
• Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Measuring Up California’s Measure B

The adult entertainment industry has been in the news recently with the passing of Measure B, the Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act. This new legislation requires actors in pornographic films to wear condoms to prevent the spread of STDs and HIV. There’s been a lot of controversy around this issue which promises to continue, as The Free Speech Coalition- an adult-film-industry trade association- says it will challenge Measure B in court as a violation of the First Amendment. We took a closer look at some of the different perspectives and opinions.

Public health and policy advocates

The AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), a global organization providing HIV/AIDS medical care and advocacy, was one of the most outspoken champions of the measure. Their advocacy website states that passing the Measure will help prevent the spread of STDs and HIV, protect porn performers, and prevent taxpayer dollars from being spent on costs related to the adult industry. Porn producers are now required to obtain health permits and the county will do spot checks on porn sets to make sure performers are using condoms.

Since Measure B’s passing, AHF has expressed interest in taking its effort statewide by advocating for a bill that would broaden the power of the state and local governments to enforce condom use on porn sets. Some have even speculated that that was the main inspiration for Measure B—to gain footing for state legislation, which could, in turn, influence other states to adopt a similar policy.

Emily Nagoski, a sex educator and owner of The Dirty Normal, supports Measure B because it protects adult performers. She writes, “It’s not a right to put yourself in harm’s way for a paycheck, it’s a circumstance created by employers who care more about their bottom line than the safety of their workers.”

Nagoski also supports Measure B because some studies suggest that including condoms in porn will cause viewers to normalize condom use and thus use condoms more in their own sex lives.

 

Adult industry producers and actors

Porn industry leaders say the extra precautions aren’t warranted; L.A. County porn community hasn't had a performer test positive for HIV since 2004. "During that time, we've produced over 300,000 scenes. We do a pretty incredible job when it comes to protecting the performers," said Steve Hirsch, opponent of Measure B and founder of porn production company Vivid Entertainment.  

Performer and director Kylie Ireland said, “It's a ridiculous waste of time and money to regulate an industry that is already self-regulating.”

Measure B has also been criticized because it could be bad for business. Porn producers speculate that customers will not be interested in watching porn featuring actors wearing condoms. With the passing of Measure B, executives and directors have threatened to move from Los Angeles to other locations. Veteran director Kevin Moore said, “I love this business, but I feel this is an attempt to drive us out of California.''

The public

Though there hasn’t been a large-scale survey of the general public surrounding California’s Measure B, 56.8% of voters supported the measure at the polls.

We want to hear what you think. Is Measure B providing a good service, ensuring that adult actors are protected and moving porn toward becoming safer? Or is this unwarranted legislation that will waste money and move the industry elsewhere (or further under the table)?

 Sources

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/porn-industry-measure-mandatory-condom-measure-passed-los/story?id=17673377
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/11/condoms-in-porn-los-angeles-county-measure-b.html
http://healthland.time.com/2012/11/09/porn-industry-threatens-to-sue-over-l-a-county-law-requiring-condoms/

LGBT Votes are Queerly Important!

It’s hard to escape: the election is now less than a week away. If you’re connected with GO Atlanta on Facebook or Twitter, you may have seen our posts encouraging folks to register to vote, research candidates and issues, and to cast their votes, whether during early voting or on Election Day.

 As a program at a nonprofit organization, we’re not allowed to participate in political campaigns, including promoting or promoting candidates or parties. And even if we could, at the end of the day it really doesn't matter whether you’re on the left, right, somewhere in the middle or still deciding. We feel that people should be empowered to learn about issues and express their opinions by participating in the political process.

A recent Gallup poll of LGBT voters shows some definite differences between their non-LGBT counterparts (see the image below). About 4 percent of the American population identifies as LGBT, and in national elections they usually vote Democrat. The poll also found that LGBT people (74%) are slightly less likely to be registered to vote than non-LGBT people (80%).

For the LGBT and HIV+ communities, it’s especially important to vote because we've historically been closeted, silenced, and marginalized. Our votes-and the votes of our allies- will influence important issues like marriage equality / partner recognition, nondiscrimination, and funding for programs that keep our community safe and healthy though HIV prevention, treatment, care, housing, and research.

We wish you an informed, involved, and very happy election day. Signing off to vote,

Your friends at GO Atlanta

AIDS Walk Atlanta

October has been a busy month for us at GO Atlanta! Between our Coffee Talk series, our OUT2EAT events, Atlanta Pride last weekend, and recognizing LGBT History Month, National Coming Out Day, and Spirit Day, we’ve been busy, busy, busy! But the fun isn’t over yet.

This weekend marks the 22nd AIDS Walk Atlanta in Piedmont Park!

It’s the largest AIDS-related fundraising event in the Southeastern United States and helps support many services at AID Atlanta, not to mention our partners AIDGwinnett, AIDS Research Consortium of Atlanta, Aniz, Jerusalem House, Living Room, Open Hand, and Positive Impact. These nine agencies provide treatment and medications, prevention education, meals, hospice, mental health services, child care, substance abuse counseling, pastoral care, and clinical research to help thousands of our families, neighbors and friends living with, affected by, and at-risk for HIV/AIDS in Atlanta.

AIDS Walk is THIS SUNDAY, and we would really, truly greatly appreciate your support. It’s not too late to register for the walk or run, donate to a team or specific individual, or make a general donation. You could also volunteer or stop by to cheer on runners and walkers.

Hope to see you there!

Get tested for HIV… on your couch

You may have heard the recent news that the first ever home rapid HIV test, OraQuick, is now available in stores and online. You may even remember our previous post on this very topic. People are able to purchase the test kit for about $40 at stores such as Walgreens and CVS, or on the OraQuick website. This is huge news! Here’s why:

There are approximately 1.2 million people in the U.S. that have HIV and 1 out of 5 of them are unaware of their status. People who don’t know they are HIV+ are much more likely to unknowingly transmit the virus to others. They are also at greater risk for serious health problems and early death with HIV.

 

A recent study found that 84% of gay and bi men say they would administer a self-test if one were available. Sometimes it feels hard to make time to take care of ourselves, even if it’s something as important as getting tested for HIV. It can also be scary to get tested. For some, the appeal of taking a quick test in the comfort and privacy of home is a deal breaker.

 

Many people are concerned that without the support of a trained HIV counselor, people who test positive for HIV may be upset, hurt themselves, or ignore the result. Finding out you have any disease is difficult, but an HIV+ diagnosis is crushing to some. Trained professionals can connect folks to resources and explain why being poz isn’t a death sentence today.  

 

While the oral swab test is 98% accurate when conducted by a professional, it’s estimated that the test is only 92% accurate when conducted by an average person. OraQuick recommends that if a person tests positive, they contact a professional for follow up.

This is a controversial issue: will home rapid HIV tests prompt more people to get tested and learn their status? Will people who test positive access the resources they need to stay healthy?

What do you think, readers?

If you’d like to get tested for HIV at AID Atlanta, contact us at (800) 551-2728 or visit this website.

 

History is Gay

Happy October! You’ve probably seen Halloween costumes and pink breast cancer awareness ribbons adorning storefronts and newsfeeds lately. Often forgotten is that October is also LGBT History Month, first officially celebrated in 1994. It coincides with National Coming Out Day and is coordinated by Equality Forum, an international LGBT civil rights organization.

It’s so important that we acknowledge this month because- let’s face it- most of us didn’t learn about history through rainbow-colored glasses. Most history books barely mention queer people throughout history. Some even have the audacity to refer to the gay rights movement in the past tense (Um, hello?! We’re still fighting for equality today!). Others imply that LGBT history just began in the last century. Knowing our history is vital for our future. LGBT History Month also highlights positive LGBT role models, builds community by embracing our past, and brings to light our extraordinary national and international contributions.

We at GO Atlanta have taken some time to put together some highlights of LGBT history represented in pop culture. Check it out:

 

For your viewing pleasure:

• Milk (2008): The story of Harvey Milk, the American gay activist who became California's first openly gay elected official.
• How to Survive a Plague (2012): The story of two coalitions -- ACT UP and TAG (Treatment Action Group) -- whose activism and innovation turned AIDS from a death sentence into a manageable condition.
• Vito (2011): The story of Vito Russo, founding father of the gay liberation movement, author of "The Celluloid Closet," and vociferous AIDS activist in the 1980s.
• Celluloid Closet (1995): A documentary surveying the various Hollywood screen depictions of the LGBT community and the attitudes behind them throughout the history of North American film.
• Paris is Burning (1990): A chronicle of New York's drag scene in the 1980s, focusing on balls, voguing and the ambitions and dreams of those who gave the era its warmth and vitality.
• Raid of the Rainbow Lounge (2012): A full length documentary film recounting the events surrounding the widely publicized and controversial raid of a Fort Worth, Texas gay bar in 2009. Pssst: This film is being screened at Out on Film, Atlanta’s LGBT film festival.

For your listening pleasure:

• Born This Way - The Columbus Gay Men's Chorus
• In This Life - Madonna
• Cowboys are Frequently Fond of Each Other - Willie Nelson
• Take Me or Leave Me - Glee
• I Want to Break Free - Queen

For your browsing pleasure:

• http://www.lgbthistorymonth.com
• http://www.lgbthistory.org/
• http://www.glbtq.com